


Broken Memoirs

by itskili



Category: Pacific Rim (2013), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, TW: Violence, tw: non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2017-12-30 20:42:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1023165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itskili/pseuds/itskili
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>WiP Pacific Rim crossover RP between myself [arrowsandmischief.tumblr.com] and Fili [yourgoldenlover.tumblr.com]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The sound of the alarm woke Fili at 4:30 in the morning; he heavily sighed as he sat up and rubbed his face, it was time to start the day. After he freshen up, he tied his long golden hair in a low ponytail and stretched his arms and neck to begin his morning routine; push-ups, Russian twist abs sets, rope jumping, arm and leg raises with the help of a bar he installed between the bathroom’s door frame, and to finish it all up, he wrapped his hands to prepare them for some good rounds on his punching bag. It’s been exactly three years since he joined the Pan Pacific Defense Corps and offered his skills to train soon- to-be Jaegar pilots and fight against the Kaiju’s that have taken the life of many, including his family members; his parents when he was a child and recently his wife. Consumed by grief he submitted more to his alcoholic obsession and his career as a cage fighter was rapidly descending. Before he hit rock bottom the Corporation sought him out with one catch: that he was to condition his body and mind to join and since then he’s been doing nothing but concentrate on his healthier addiction to help him cope with the one he’s been fighting against. 

Landing the final blow of the day to the bag, he stepped back and panted. He looked up at the clock on his wall; it was time to get ready. He showered, washing all of his sweat off, and then stepped out wrapping the towel around his waist and looked himself in the mirror; he trimmed his beard and then combed his hair and tied it on a high bun. As he dressed himself in his training clothes, he stared at the second bed that’s been empty since he moved in. From the moment he joined, he’s been itching to get inside a Jaegar and kill Kaiju’s himself in order to avenge his family; they’ve fucked his life long enough. If his parents were alive, he was sure his life would have been so much different than what it had turned out to be. He was sure he would have been happy and with the one he had always loved. Everything could have been different, everything. But life had been such a bitch since his parent’s death; he knew he wouldn’t have survived any longer if it weren’t for the PPDC’s aid.  
Through the past three years, Fili had shown more than once that he had every skill needed to become a Ranger and pilot the legendary machineries; excelling in every test, save for one. The Compatibility Test, which offered trainees to discover their ideal Jaegar co-pilot; as they say, the deeper the bond between the co-pilots, the better you fight and handle the Jaegar. The test allowed ranger apprentices to discern who they’re Drift Compatible with; through the Drift both pilots not only connect with each other in mind and body, but it is the key that brings the Jaegar itself to life. Hence, the importance of the bond, but Fili hadn’t connected with anyone. Yet; today that could all change. It was about that time of the year where new recruiters, who had passed the initial tests to become rangers, came in and with that, new hope to finally become an official pilot himself. 

But he didn’t get his hopes up. Stepping on the platform on his bare feet he looked up at the group of trainees before him and sighed as he turned his back to them, “They already fear me. Joy…” he muttered to Pentecost, who was there to supervise and certify if compatibility was achieved, as he was being handed his staff. Pentecost smirked and shook his head, “Well, look at you, boy. You look like a bull ready to kill his matador. How do you expect to find your one when you’re so guarded up?” he said looking down at the list of names on his hands. Fili smirked back and leaned in, “I’m an open book,” he defended, “Just not a popular book. I’m not an easy read. You have to take a good look into my text to decipher me,” then he chuckled turning to the crowd.

Pentecost quirked an eyebrow, “Smartass,” he retorted, “Jorge Vega!” he called out stepping out of the arena. Fili took a deep a breath and took his stance; right off the bat he could tell they were not going towards the same language. He wasn’t one to waste time and quickly pinned him down. It was how it always started. One by one, the number of incompatible trainees fell onto the mat and the crowd shortened. Fili was already feeling impatient and hopeless and was about to call it all off himself when the next name that came from Pentecost voice made him jerk his head towards him, “Kili of Durin!” he called raising his eyes towards Fili’s wide blue ones. Slowly, Fili turned back to look at the crowd to find himself face to face with the owner of the name and his dark past.

 

-x-

 

When you’ve bounced around from place to place and burned damn near every bridge possible, life quickly becomes increasingly more difficult to figure out. Kili woke up the morning he decided he was running out of options to survive underneath a tattered and thin blanket in an abandoned home. The roof had more holes than material and damage was significant throughout the entire structure and left the home with an eerie creak and a dangerous sway during a gust. The last Kaiju attack nearly wiped out the coastal street and those that remained did so out of pure stubbornness and refusal to part with a home they’ve invested so much time and money into. Kili was the exact opposite; he sought refuge there after his more recent breakup knowing the area was rarely patrolled by the law and the neighbors had nothing to lose from a squatter or two.

Kili woke that morning with a painful ache in his gut due to hunger, a knapsack falling apart that contained the last of his belongings and a rat scampering away from his stirring form. As he sat there looking around, stretching, he decided he simply couldn’t risk living this life anymore. His last relationship was damaging enough, both physically and mentally, and ended with him on the streets once more. It was then that Kili decided to suck up any pride remaining inside him and test to see if he would be accepted into the Pan Pacific Defense Corps. It was a guaranteed bed, warm food and maybe some stable company; all of which Kili was sadly unfamiliar with. The test alone was easy enough and Kili made it through, much against his original gut feeling. They helped clean him up and began to condition him as they felt fit until his less than acceptable past was nothing more than a nightmare.

Several months passed as Kili tried to acclimate to his new surroundings. There where schedules to follow, vigorous training, curfews even. Being a child of the streets from a young age, Kili started becoming restless. He found himself in far more fights on the training fields than he should have and was at risk for getting kicked out of the program completely. One cool morning in the barracks, Kili awoke to a letter on his side table. The feeling of dread settled heavy around him as he ripped open the envelope, reluctantly pulling the folded sheet of paper out. Reading over it, Kili’s dark eyes widened and he had to scan the printed words several times before realization set it; he was being called for a Compatibility Test to be a pilot. Apparently they admired his spunky attitude and could sense he was itching for something substantial to get into it.

Those next three days dragged on, time nearly stopping completely at random. But as Kili caught the shuttle to where the test was being held, he was beginning to feel anxious. He fidgeted in his seat nearly the entire trip, pulled his side shaved mohawk back into a ponytail and then let it drop numerous times before finally securing it back with a rubber band and tried talking himself out of it until he was walking into the large facility. The amount of other possibilities was discouraging and Kili let out a nervous breath. But when the male stepped up on the platform before them and eyed the group of his possible matches, Kili nearly went into shock. He ducked his head to keep the blue eyes from landing on him and his heart thudded painfully in his chest. No way, there was no fucking way it was him… 

The crowd began thinning far too quickly as Kili watched his brother win each fight with ease. A part of him debated slowly exiting the group and making a run for it, but with the way the names were being called out, Fili would know he was there. For whatever reason, there was a pull inside him making him stay rooted to the spot. And then it happened. The bone chilling call of his name and the men around him turned to face him. Narrowing his eyes on the blond, Kili took a few long strides forward until he was standing in front of the one person he had hoped and prayed he would never have to lock eyesight on again. Though his heart was pounding hard and his mind was racing, but he kept a steely cold gaze on the blue eyes looking back at him in equal shock.

“Hello, brother.” Tilting his head to the side, Kili looked Fili up and down, ignoring the collective gasps and murmurs behind them. Though Fili had changed in far more ways than one, there was no doubt in his mind who he was standing before. He began circling around Fili with slow, cautious steps, his fists balling up and relaxing. Now that Kili was in arms reach to the source that drove him to the lifestyle in the first place, he decided he at least wanted payback for everything that happened; revenge that he could die happily with. “Try not to take it too easy on me, will ya? It’s not like you ever did in the past.” With a clenched jaw, Kili swung hard with his right arm with as much force as he could, connecting his balled up fist into Fili’s side. Using the moment to his advantage, Kili lunged to the side and picked up his staff, crouching down in position with a heated, almost mocking stare.


	2. Chapter 2

Fili stood still, frozen in his spot as it sunk into him that, indeed, it was his little brother who had stepped into the arena; he had grown and changed his appearance in some ways, like that side Mohawk he sported now, some tattoos were visible, but his eyes, those brown wide eyes that stared at him with what he could guess was hatred, were the same ones he loved to lose himself in. His own eyes cast down and his breathing slightly hitched as Kili circled around him; so many thoughts raced through his mind. Because of the earlier encounters, his high bun had slightly loosened and a few golden strands of his hair had fallen forward weakening his side view. Which is why Kili’s punch caught him completely by surprise; he crouched down grunting and holding his side and was about to retaliate when he heard Pentecost’s whistle, “This is a dialogue! Not a brawl! Focus!” he yelled at them. Fili stood straight and lightly nodded his way before regaining his composure and took his position.

His gaze soon challenged Kili’s and a small smirk curved his lips, “You always did liked it rough,” he muttered and swung his staff low, connecting it with Kili’s ankles and made him stumble to the ground halting his staff right under Kili’s chin, “And I never let you down when you asked for it.” But his smirk faded as he took his stance again; he wanted this to be over, for Pentecost to stop it and declare them incompatible. But their bodies decided differently; it wasn’t like it surprised him. As soon as Kili had stepped foot into the platform, he could feel their bodies molding in a language of their own. Their staffs soon, instead of confronting the other, gracefully greeted with each swift swing. Their feet perfectly followed the others and their bodies finished each other’s sentences. It felt amazing, perfect, and familiar; things he hadn’t felt in so long. But he didn’t want it; soon flashes of past memories flooded his senses. Memories of a body he touched, skin he had grabbed, flesh he had kissed; innocence given and taken. Memories of a body he so dearly loved.

It was clouding his mind and focus, “Enough!” yelled Pentecost at the nick of time. Fili deeply sighed and turned away from Kili as quick as he could and began to walk away from the platform, “Congratulations, Durin,” Pentecost called out to his back which made Fili halt on his tracks, “Looks like you finally found your co-pilot,” and looked over at Kili, “Seemed like he was with you the whole time,” and turned back to Fili, “How come you never spoke of him?” Fili paused before turning and looking straight at Kili, “I thought him dead,” he answered dropping the staff and stormed out of the place. He made his way to his room, his mind going on overdrive with images and feelings he had locked away so long ago. He slammed his door shut and took his sweaty top off, “Fuck!” he yelled slamming the clothe to the floor, “Shit…” he muttered pacing around his room.

-x-

Kili was fuming hard by the time their moment came to a halt, and he was more than ready to take out the rest of his pent up aggression without the sticks; just skin on skin, a good old fashioned fight. But the running the operations had already put a stop to that earlier, and Kili stood, panting heavily with narrowed eyes on his brother’s back. When the word ‘co-pilot’ rang through the air, his blood boiled. He had opened his mouth to retaliate and tell them to shove their Jeager up their ass when Fili stormed from the room. Kili was seconds away from huffing off in the opposite direction when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.

"Pretty impressive moves you had out there. The name is Pentecost."

Eyes darkened by anger caught Pentecost’s gaze and he scoffed, turning away from him and pulling his shoulder free. “Yeah? Don’t get used to them. That’s the last time you’ll see them.” Kili shouldered his way through the thinning crowd as he made his way to the door, unaware of the man that followed.

"You have a lot of anger pent up inside of you."

"You don’t say!" Turning around with wide eyes and a sarcastic grin, Kili began slow clapping. "Would you like an award? Maybe a good ole pat on the back for being so bloody observant? Listen. You can tell your little golden boy there that I’d much sooner blow my brains against the wall then ever have to be near him again, much less fucking drift with the fucker. Understand?"

Pentecost was persistent though and followed Kili to the locker room and waited until the angry man gathered his bag from the unlocked locker. "You think this is a game, do you?"

"A game?" Slinging his bag over his shoulder, Kili rolled his eyes. "My life is a fucking mess enough without having to deal with him again. If you knew an ounce of what happened, you’d—”

"—I haven’t seen compatibility like that in years. Put the two of you in a Jaeger, and you’ll be unstoppable."

“No! I’m not going to—”

"—do you know nothing about Jaeger pilots? Do you not know what all it entails? You think your life is shit? Change it! The days of wallowing in your self pity, Kili, are over. You and your brother are meant to be co-pilots. Do one drift, boy. One drift and you’ll see what I mean."

With a heavy sigh, Kili sank down onto one of the benches and ran his palms down his face. His mind brought him back to his childhood, the moments he shared with his brother, the night he decided to leave. It was all stuff he tried so hard to forget. Feelings he spent years working on ignoring. And it was all expected to change because of one little compatibility test? The thought had Kili rolling his eyes and opening his mouth to scream a big ‘fuck you’ and bolt. But he did know what sort of lifestyle the pilots lived; they were rock stars. It was a lifestyle Kili only dreamed of living, and he wasn’t about to let his brother ruin yet another part of his life.

"Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, fine. Fine, I’ll fucking do it. One drift, do you understand?” Kili stood and held up one finger in Pentecost’s face. “One chance. And if shit doesn’t go the way I want, I’m gone. And you won’t ever dare follow me again, do you understand?”

Pentecost bit back his building response to the way Kili spoke to him and forced a small smile to his face. “Deal. Follow me.”

As Kili followed him through the building, he kept his gaze lowered and tried to figure out exactly how he’d get out of drifting with Fili and requesting his own compatibility test with other potential pilots. Pentecost was rambling off certain rules and things that were to be expected of him, but he brushed it all off, knowing there was a large chance he wouldn’t be staying any longer than absolutely necessary. They stopped outside a door and Pentecost knocked once before letting himself in to the room and Kili’s blood ran cold. Two beds, there were two beds; one of which was highly used…

"No. No! You told me one drift, one fucking drift! You did not say I’d have to be sharing a room with-with-with him!!!” Kili turned to leave, muttering a ‘fuck this’ under his breath, but heavy hands gripped his shoulders once more and he was forced into the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Fili stood leaning by the bathroom’s threshold crossed arm and with a disbelieved look on his face as he saw Pentecost drag Kili into the room, “Mind telling me the fuck is happening here, Pentecost?” he asked not wanting to lay eyes on Kili. Pentecost let go of Kili, sighing heavily, and looked at Fili, “Where better for your co-pilot to stay in than alongside you? Not to mention he’s your brother. You know our rule, family stays together,” he said firmly looking at both. Fili scoffed at that and gave Kili a look, “That’s something this little boy doesn’t know about,” he said rather bitterly before looking back at Pentecost, “Look, he doesn’t want to be here and I sure as fuck don’t want him here. So why don’t you go and find a better corner to put this dog in? I need to shower,” he said with all the intention of locking himself in the bathroom and just hope Kili was gone after he finished with his bath. But a heavy hand turned him around and his blues locked with Pentecost’s dark stern ones, “I don’t know what kind of beef has been boiling between the two of you, and I don’t really give three shits about it,” and looked at both of them once again, “But fix it!” he ordered and headed towards the door, “Tomorrow you will have your first drift test together and I expect to see a perfect neural handshake. You two fools think that I will allow family quarrels step between the safety of humanity? Get your shit together or get the fuck out!” he yelled then gave a Kili a stern look, “And let me just set this straight as of now,” and raised a finger to his face, “One: don’t ever speak to me like that again. And Two: Don’t ever speak to me like that again,” then relaxed his features and fixed his suit, “Good day, gentlemen,” and stepped out closing the door behind him.

Fili felt the muscles from his neck to his arms tense up; to know he had to live once more with the being that had hurt him the most was setting his blood to a boil. But to have them drift was perhaps the worst part of this all. He let out a heavy breath through his nose, his brow was greatly knitted, and soon slammed a hand against the door’s frame, “Fuck!” he growled and narrowed his blue eyes at Kili. It was terrible, like watching the living form of all the bad that has gone down in your life. All that he felt like he finally was able to leave behind, it all came running back to shit on his face. He slowly stood straighter and pointed a finger at Kili, “Touch any of my things and I will not go easy on you,” he threatened and slammed the bathroom door shut. He raked his fingers through his hair and let out a whisper of curses as he made his way towards the sink; he loosened his hair and allowed it to frame his face as he sighed leaning his head down. His hands gripped the sides of the sink as he shook his head just wanting to wake from this nightmare.

-x-

Standing in the middle of the room, eyes glued upon the now closed door, Kili growled. “Dog?! You call me a dog?!” He clenched his fists several times, his breath coming in short, shallow pants as he no longer attempted to control his rage. Storming up to the bathroom door, Kili jiggled the handle, thankful to find it unlocked and threw it open. Without giving his brother a chance to retaliate, Kili lunged forward and shoved the blond hard against the sink, letting out a yell. “Me?! What fucking fantasy world have you been living in these past fourteen years, Fili?! To fucking think me the bad guy in all of this?!”

As he grabbed Fili’s shoulder, he twisted him around and quickly landed a jab to his gut. Anger pushed him back the point of no return and tears burned his eyes. Jumping back, he gripped his hair with both hands and held back a scream, wanting nothing more than to tackle Fili to the ground and land hit after hit to his face until he was no longer recognizable. “I left, Fili, because of you! Don’t even fucking dare make me out to to be the bad guy! Don’t you fucking dare!!!” Forcing a laugh that came off almost maniacal, Kili shook his head. “You always did have a way of twisting shit though, didn’t you? Make anything you want about you and not fucking care who it affected?!” He knew he was screaming but he didn’t care who outside might hear them. Raising his fist once more, he lunged forward, ready to finally release the rest of his anger.


	4. Chapter 4

The surprise attack brought Fili back to his senses, but towards a place he didn’t want to go back to. Old feelings, habits, dark practices he and Kili engaged on at such a young age; it was what their way of living had taught them. But oddly enough, it was in those moments where they found comfort and an outlet from their cruel reality. But then one day…As Kili launched himself towards him again, he blocked the coming fist and jabbed his gut then connected a back slap right across Kili’s face with a loud grunt. Kili stumbled to the floor and Fili narrowed his hot gaze on him, “You left me…with HIM!!” he yelled panting as the stress and anger began to take over his actions, “I did nothing but protect you from that son of a bitch!! And you just left!! Not a word…not a trace…and now you got the balls to say it was because of me?!” he scoffed leaning in and grabbing Kili by the shirt. He slammed him against the wall, “It doesn’t matter now,” he growled onto his face, “You seem to have forgotten who you’re talking to, baby brother!” and smashed him again against the wall before gripping his neck with one hand. “Fucking coming here with such bad ass attitude, huh?” he hissed behind gritted teeth and squeezing Kili’s neck, not to suffocate him but to strain Kili’s movements while his other hand began to yank his top until it ripped, “That’s…ngh!..Fine!” he said as he finished disposing of the shredded cloth and threw it to the floor, “Fool the world,” and leaned in their face within inches, “But not me.”

Slightly loosening the grip around his neck, Fili pulled Kili from the wall and dragged him towards the sink. He made him face the mirror, maintaining his firm grip behind Kili’s neck now, “Look at you now…” he said eyeing his brother through the mirror; Kili had changed, physically, into a very attractive young man. His body was slim, though not fit, but nonetheless appealing and inked with tattoos on his side and chest. Then his eyes drifted from the mirror to Kili’s back and spotted more tattoos; he raised a brow to a particular one. The hand on the neck had completely loosened to explore Kili’s hair; it was much longer since he last saw it and he had to admit the side Mohawk suited him well. For a brief moment, he felt lost, as if the body he had before him was completely unknown, until his other hand snaked his way up Kili’s stomach and chest. Then he looked back at Kili through the mirror, “I like it,” he said approvingly twisting his hand around Kili’s hair and lightly pulled back so his lips were at Kili’s ear, “But this is only a shell…inside you’re still the same,” and lowered his head to smell the crook of Kili’s neck; his eyes swelled with tears as the familiar scent invaded his senses, but he blinked them away.

Taking back his posture he let out a shaky breath into Kili’s ear locking their eyes through the mirror again, “You know how I can tell?” and grinded his erection against Kili’s clothed ass, “My body’s been reacting to your needy call!!” Giving Kili’s hair another tug, his other hand made its way towards Kili’s pants and undid them to reveal Kili’s arousal. Untwisting his hand from Kili’s hair he pulled both the pants and underwear down to Kili’s ankles; slowly standing up, he admired Kili’s ass and began to undo his own pants, “I’m not any better,” he said walking backwards and closed the door with his foot before slipping his clothes down, “Old habits die hard,” and grasped Kili’s hair giving it a yank and firmly wrapped his other arm around Kili’s waist, “Ask for it, baby brother,” he muttered to Kili’s ear as the tip of his cock teased his entrance, “Tell to big brother how much you want it,” and locked his blue eyes with the brown wide ones. 

-x-

Kili was deeply lost in a trance as Fili roughly handled and spoke to him. By the time he was standing nude with his lower clothes pooled around his ankle, his cock was fully hard and he cursed under his breath for being so damn weak. He had to break the intense connection between their gazes in the mirror and looked down, gripping the sink with a white knuckle hold as he tried to steady his breathing. “You want me to beg?” He asked through gritted teeth, his voice several tones deeper than previously. “Want me to grovel at your feet, tell you how amazing of a brother you are but an even better lover? You want to go back to when we were younger, Fili?”

Dark, pained eyes slowly traveled back up into the mirror and connected with the blue set staring back at him. Kili swallowed hard and let out a shaky sigh, dropping his head and letting his hair cascade around his face. “Fuck me, Fili,” he muttered under his breath knowing it’d be better to give in to what the elder wanted than to fight back. “It’s not like you would stop either way.” His sentence came out more bitter than he intended and he bit the inside of his cheeks. Clearing his throat, Kili threw his head back, gripped the sink harder, pushed his ass out against the thick cock threatening to fill him and snarl, catching Fili’s eyes for a final time. “I said fuck me.”


	5. Chapter 5

Fili frowned at Kili’s words; that sour tone he used to describe their passionate encounters when they were young set him off momentarily, especially when he said that he wouldn’t stop either way. He wasn’t sure what Kili meant by that; their love affair had always been fucked up given the fact that they are related, but to his understanding it was something they both enjoyed and looked forward to. But he didn’t had much time to dwell on the thought as he felt the plumb cheeks push against his dick; he hesitated for a very brief moment, feeling his hands tremble around their respective holds on Kili. He shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t fall back into his past that were nothing but nightmares to him. But his desire was too great and looking into Kili’s eyes in the mirror, hearing his order, it was as if a natural instinct came back to him and he obeyed. Taking a deep breath he gripped Kili tighter by the waist, holding him in place, and penetrated his little brother. A small gasp escaped his lips as a huge heated wave covered his body as his cock was being enveloped by the familiar walls. With only two thrusts he was buried inside his brother and he darkly chuckled, “Whoring your way through life, dear brother?” he bitterly growled as he pulled Kili’s head back by the hair and looked down his face, “Did any of them matched my touches?” he hissed over his cheek as he began to hump him over and over traveling his other hand downwards and wrapping it around Kili’s prick, “Were you searching for my cock amongst them?” he panted quickly jerking his brother, “Did any of them made you feel like I did?” and groaned hiding his pained face into Kili’s neck ravishing it with his teeth and tongue.

No one made him feel like Kili did; no one filled that void that Kili left in him, not even she. The smacking of their skin where they repeatedly connected filled the air in the small bathroom along with their heavy breathing. It was all spiraling against him; with each thrust his thoughts were filled with melancholy, with buried feelings surfacing faster than he could imagined, with longing, sadness, relief, hate, anger,…love. He sunk his teeth over the crook of Kili’s neck, shutting his eyes tight to prevent tears from free falling; he felt awful but he felt good. Fuck dammit Kili felt good and his body pounded him trying to make up for all those lost years! It also filled him with pain and jealousy to see how Kili sought comfort in other arms and he thrusted every single one of those impostors out.

-x- 

Kili’s head fell forward, his hair partially covering his eyes. He could no longer stand looking through the mirror at his brother; the pained look in the tired looking blue eyes matched his own. Every thrust Fili pounded him with brought a grunt from his mouth. Every so often he would allow a small moan to follow, but he tried to keep those noises to himself, not allowing Fili the honor of knowing how much pleasure he was bringing him. “You think you are special?” He asked bitterly, shutting his eyes tight. He groaned, pushing back against the cock filling him. “Your cock works just the same as theirs does, Fili.” Oh how wrong he was though. The lie was forced, Kili knew that. In that exact moment, he ached to flip around so he was pressed chest to chest with his brother and just hold him and be held. To kiss him like he yearned to do from the moment he ran away. To feel that protection Fili’s strong arms brought him. It was a sense of security. Their childhood was less than alright and the things they went through, had to deal with at a young age would have anyone ready to throw in the towel, but it was Fili’s safety that kept Kili trekking through it. Until things took a turn for the worst.

There /was/ truth in Fili’s words though, as much as Kili did not want to admit it. He was searching for his brother, or someone close enough to fill that gap, to bring him that sense of security he lost. Sort of like a small, young child that clung to their blanket. Kili needed his brother, but that option simply wasn’t available any longer. Fili made sure to burn that bridge that night Kili left. Opening his eyes, Kili threw his head to the side and glanced over his shoulder, looking eyes on Fili’s face directly. His hand reached down and fingers wrapped around his own cock, pumping himself in time to Fili’s thrusts. The small bathroom was filled with the slick sounds of skin on skin and their soft noises they were making.


End file.
